The Number One Movie in the World

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The Number One Movie in the World

“Papa, will you take me to see the Sponge Bob movie?”

“What’s that?” I say. 

I know full-well what that is. I’m trying to suppress my first reaction which is to say, “I’d rather stick needles in my eyes.”

But I'm struck by the sweet, innocent look of my grandson’s face.

“It’s the number one movie in the world,” Johnny, age 8, offers, looking up from his seat on the couch. Now, along with sweet and innocent, I see honesty and sincerity on his face. He’s trying to reassure me, that I'll enjoy it also.  

Darling boy.

Does he know, or remember, that in the not too distant past, I pushed for a family-wide ban on all Sponge Bob TV episodes? 

OK, when was that?

I can’t remember. Regardless, the ban didn’t work out. I should have known better.

Not important.

 “Of course I’ll take you,” I say to Johnny.

“It’s the number one movie,” John reiterates. More reassurance. I want to hug him. Does he know I hate Sponge Bob? OK, perhaps that is too strong.   

Whatever. 

I make a mental adjustment to my Saturday afternoon plans; I replace nothing with, movie theater, two hours.

Next, I head upstairs to inquire if older brother Eddie wants to go.

“Ed, we’re going to see the Sponge Bob movie Saturday. You want to go with us?”

“No,” Ed says in a tone that suggests an implied "That’s sooooo absurd."

This surprises me. I remember Eddie as the Sponger’s number one fan in his younger days. Ed is eleven currently.

“You don’t?” I say.

“No,” says Ed, this time a rhetorical Are you nuts? is implied.

I’ll try another time, I decide.

As Saturday approaches I’m mildly shocked by the happiness I feel, knowing that I’m doing this, and honored that John felt that I was to one to ask.

In the theater, at the snack counter, I successfully talk John out of a five dollar candy bar. More happiness. As we search for seats I notice myriad wastebasket size buckets of popcorn ($8, as I recall) on various patron’s laps.

The movie lives up to its billing – i.e. my billing, not the “number one” billing. 

Regardless, I am nothing less than overjoyed throughout, especially when I glance over at John and notice his rapt attention. 

Beautiful is all I can say. 

Epilogue (of sorts): I have just begun a book by Daniel Klein, “Travels with Epicurus”. The subtitle is …in Search of a Fulfilled Life. My thought about a little help for a fulfilled life would be: Go see The Sponge Bob Movie with your grandson or granddaughter. 

Best if under ten of course.       

 

College: What is it Good for?

    College: What is it Good for?

 
Over the years, somewhere around age forty, it came to me that college would have been a wonderful opportunity to explore my interests and talents.

Who knew?

Certainly by the end of my high school years I knew little about either. My interests were sports, friends and girls. And, honestly, those were my college goals as well. 

Yes, college was four years during which I could have researched areas of interest, thought about intellectual growth (huh?) and vocation. So why didn't I take advantage of this? Well, for starters, remember, I was forty, almost two decades removed from campus life, when I figured this out.

So it was in later life that I got the bright idea that I would imbue this knowledge, about the purpose of college, to my offspring. The essence of my advice would be to take advantage of this wonderful opportunity to use your college years to, "explore everything," "find what you love" and "develop a skill to support yourself."

And what was my own college experience? In a word - great! - even better than I thought it would be. I made lifelong friends; I played on the football team, and the baseball team. I met girls. I laughed like I never laughed before. And those particulars – sports, friends, and girls - were the main reasons that I went to college. Find what you love? How about sports, friends and girls? 

 

Intellectual interest and vocation, not so much.

I actually voiced such opinions while enrolled, on the rare occasions when it seemed that the subject of academic interest was approached. When we registered for our next semester’s courses each mid-term, a dean assisted in the process (called advising) and often pointed out shortcomings (i.e. low grades, lack of direction). I had my excuse ready.

                Is College More than Academics?

 
“I’m getting more out of college than just grades,” I said to the Dean who seemed to be implying that I lacked direction and that I could do better. I doubt if my words had stumped him. He’d been around. He’d heard it before and likely knew that I was adamant and there was no sense wasting his breath. Getting "more" out of college – that was me.

Not really.

I was in college for ten years. I got three degrees. They weren't the wrong degrees, just not in subjects of great interest to me. Maybe I shouldn't complain. My life has been blessed - good job, two wonderful, loving daughters and a permanent feeling of gratitude that follows me always.

Still I think that I wasted much of my college years because I didn't explore - my self and my interests. I could say I didn't think, but that may be too harsh. The best thing I did was to deduce that if I didn’t know what I wanted, then I should keep going to school. Get more degrees. I forged ahead - albeit somewhat blindly. It was better than nothing - true. I got an another advanced degree in education to go with my Master’s in Teaching (Math) and undergraduate BA, (Education major, Math minor).

                 Rethink your High School Answers
 

So what did I do wrong? For starters, I plodded along with the same recited goal that rose to the top during high school. At various times during my adolescence the question was asked: What do you want to do when you grow up? My answer was always the same:  teacher and coach. There - that was covered, now on with life - friends, girls and sports.

                 What's Your major Again?
 

Actually my chosen area of study, education with math minor, might have been a clue. If you’re studying to be a teacher then find a field that you want to major in, and do that. It was definitely not Math in my case. Also, don’t necessarily major in Education - a minor there is sufficient for certification. An exception probably is Elementary Education where, my daughter, Special Ed teacher, assures me, much specialized knowledge is essential.  So, if high school or college teaching is your goal (me) you should major in the field you'll be teaching. Common sense, no?

                   What Do You Want to Do?
 

Here’s another issue. I ended up teaching (computer programming at a NJ Community College) for 27 years, and over the years have talked with countless 18, 19 year old students about their course of study. Every semester I devoted the first class to giving advice about their approach to college; the kind of advice I never followed. 

 

I implored them to use their education to explore the wide range of opportunities related to their interests and intellect. My first question was always, “What is it that you want to do?”

By far the most prevalent answer was, “I don’t know what I want to do.” I expected that, so my next question was, “What do you enjoy? What are your hobbies? What do you read? Do you draw, build things, decorate things? If you have a part-time job, what do you like best about the job? Do you know a seemingly, vocationally happy parent or adult friend? What doe he or she do?”

They looked at me dumbfounded. Is this on the test?

The objective here was to find an interest and to study that, if only in a single course, or activity. Explore was the operative word. For young adults one may have to dig deep for this. There was another objective, related to interest, and that was to develop a “skill,” one of some vocational value. A major in Education or communications are often too "general" to contribute to a job skill, An exception is if the general study of Education is truly your passion. Look for hints of your passions, i.e. courses you liked in high school, things you read about. Don't neglect vocation and future financial support. Try to come out with a skill that will contribute to your support.

 

And speaking of vocation. Many of you will have summer jobs, or even part-time jobs during the school year. Think about what you might want to do as a thirty year-old and try to find an entry-level/part-time position (internship) in that area. 

 

Finally, use your college counseling offices, which are often ignored, to explore the work world.

 

           Really, I Don't Know What I Want to Do
 

So you say, “Hey, I seriously don’t know what I want to do so I’ll major in math and be a math teacher. I need a job. It’s better than nothing.” I would respond, “OK, that’s OK, great actually, but don’t give up your personal research project. Remember - explore. Keep questioning if your choice is your passion. You have four years of college with a wealth of opportunity at your disposal. Trust me, if you don’t turn over every stone you will one day say to yourself – "gee, I was there four years, why didn’t I do something? Learn a language, learn how to write better, play music, learn an actual skill etc." 

All of this is possible and still pursue "sports. friends. and girls / boys."

And again, the counseling services at your college would be happy to talk with you.

            Andy Rooney Didn't Want to be Culturally Deprived 
 

Andy Rooney said of his college experience, that he loved football, but didn’t want to “let the game dominate my life and become a culturally deprived jock, so I decided to take piano lessons.” That we should all have such maturity at age twenty. As for me, I was well aware of life’s priorities – there was football, baseball, girls,  laughing with friends, beer and sleep in that order. Cultural deprivation, whatever that was, I’d make up for it later, if necessary, which I doubted. But seriously, back then I would have thought that the hour on the piano stool was cultural deprivation. How dumb!

I'll keep trying to drive the message home, next with the grandchildren.