Seasons in the sunset - A seventy (+3) year old looks ahead and back

Seasons in the sunset - A 70 (+8) year old
looks ahead and back

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Why Does the Sun Keep On Shining?

Monday March 19, 2018

 6:40 AM
Just out of bed. Knelling on floor, I do four back exercises, thinking of lifelong friend, Bill Rezak, who is now in heaven and who showed me the exercises forty years ago. 

Downstairs I make Coffee with re-usable Keurig cup. Take up usual position on couch to read NY Times online.

An article from Books section catches my eye: 15 Remarkable Books by Women of the 21st Century. I jot two author’s names, Rachel Cusk and Jenny Offill,


I leave for Ashley's house to pick up two grand kids, Eddie (14) and Johnny (12), to bring them
to middle school, along with car-pooling neighbor, Sara. 

Ride to school is quiet. Kids (boys) mostly on phone.

"Good bye, I love you," I say as kids get out in front of school.
"Love you too," both say back.

I watch them walk in and my heart warms.


Back home. Reading paper again.
At almost 9 O’clock I feel I should get moving, get off the couch - do something.

I go to Starbucks, with the intention of doing some writing. Inside I order, “A Dark please.” Hand over my Starbucks card.
I find a table, set up the laptop. Laptop screen says “Working on updates 60 % complete.”  Hmmmm. Could be a while. I sip my coffee, look around. Tables are full, not unlike a busy office, everyone on laptops. How the world has changed.

Finally update finishes. In a little less than an hour I write 187 words. Not bad, for me, wanna-be writer.

I take a breath, start writing again. Suddenly my thoughts are interrupted by the Starbucks sound system playing a melody that touches me.

I can’t make out all the words. I catch only “Why does the sun keep on shining ...” I stop my writing and begin a search for those lyrics in Google. The song is “The End of the World.” I click on Amazon and find a rendition by Julie London. I download the song.

I get up for a free coffee re-fill, say hello to Carol, “my barrister,” behind the counter.  Carol asks, “Still driving grand kids all around?”

“My favorite thing to do,“ I say.

“You’re wonderful,” she says handing me the re-fill. "Thanks," I say, smiling at her words. 


I drive to library, find Cusk and Offill books. I read four pages of Cusk when my phone buzzes. I whisper, “Hello,” as I walk out to the lobby. 
It’s daughter Brett calling from CA. She tells me Mike (16, home for spring break from prep school) wore his “Andover Hockey” jacket to local HS Lacrosse game last night. “So cute,” she says.

I get to tell my team jacket story, of wearing my Lehigh University Varsity Football jacket with tan leather sleeves to Middletown-Port Jervis Thanksgiving football game in November 1962. Brett tells me she heard the story before.


I leave library with two books.

Home again. I try to put the End of the World song on the phone. It's not easy. I give up. Finally I do a Google search for “phone location of transferred songs.” Answer is: This PC / Samsung-SM-J320A / Phone / ATT Mobile Transfer. Who knew?

I decide to move the song later.

I make breakfast: Trader Joe’s Oven Toasted Old Fashioned Organic Oats, Strawberries (not organic), Trader Joe’s Raw California Walnuts Halves & Pieces, 1% Low Fat Milk  
I eat the cereal, then transfer the Julie London song to phone.

I drive to daughter Ashley’s home to let dogs out. I grab Offill’s book to read at stop lights. I get through page one at the light at the end of my road.
A quote:
… all our stories ….
So why do they come back to me now? Now when I’m so weary of it all. 

Is that me?

At daughter's home, I speak to the dogs, “OK, let’s go,” I say as they bolt out to the grass and start sniffing. “Go!”I repeat, following daughter's advice that "Go" is the magic word.

Tired of standing I get into my car. With warm sun on me, I cycle through songs on the car’s “Bluetooth” thing-a-ma-gig, looking for the new - “The End of the World” – song that I just copied to my phone.

Can’t  find it.     

I play it on the phone. OK, that works. I try it again through the car speakers (Bluetooth). A miracle. It now plays. I'm happy.

I coax the dogs back inside, then leave for home. Julie London’s soft voice is singing.

Why does the sun go on shining?
Why does the sea rush to shore?
Don't they know it's the end of the world
'Cause you don't love me anymore?

The words, the melody, her voice – all of it, touches me. Don’t know exactly why, but a happy feeling sweeps through me as I move up the street.

It seems that the words, "When you don’t love me anymore" are what triggers happy feelings. Why I wonder?

Perhaps because it reminds me of a time when young love was center stage, when words like “you don’t love me anymore” were relevant. So the pleasant feeling, I attribute to having been there once. When it was possible to feel such things. Like many thoughts, it's just a guess.

I play the song, over and over.


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