Overheard in the men’s locker room - 2004

Overheard in the men’s locker room - 2004

 

I'm in the men's locker room at the local YMCA, shower finished, I'm packing my gym bag.It's a Thursday, mid-morning.

 

“Whew!” a very sweaty guy brushes by, heading for his locker. Finding his spot, he fiddles with the combination lock. He looks over at a nearby fellow, a middle aged gent, tying his sneakers. 

 

"Wheeew!" sweaty guy offers.

 

“What’s the matter?” says the gent.

 

“That was some workout,” sweaty says.

 

“Yeah, I saw you. You sure did it, there. What’d you do?” gent asks.

 

“I did HIT! That’s H-I-I-T”

 

Huh?

 

"H-I-I-T," Sweaty says, still out of breath.

 

“I know it's an acronym. Let me guess!” says gent.

 

“High Intensity Interval Training.” Sweaty says. He didn't let him guess.

 

“Yeah, I was gonna say something … some kind of interval training.”

 

“Yeah. Thirty seconds run … fast, then thirty seconds jog. Do it for fifteen minutes. ”

 

“Of course, well that’s been around for some time. We used to do it to train for speed,” says new voice,  chiming in. It's octogenarian Stan, who had a stroke seven years ago. Margaret, a septuagenarian-plus, and Y regular (obviously not currently part of this locker room talk) said Stan had the stroke because he ran a marathon and then went home and had sex. This, Margaret says, always makes Stan smile – stroke or no stroke - whenever she repeats the story.

“We did that in college, in football practice,” someone within earshot pipes up from a far locker.

 

“Yeah.” A chorus of “yeahs” follow. All ex-footballers, I presume.In college? I wonder who that is?

 

Then another voice, from across the room, “Yeah! Hit is right!”

 

“Didn’t you hate that?”
 

Hate what? The conversation seems to have veered away ... sideways. 

 

“Of course, but you want to know the good thing about it? What I liked about it” This from a another new voice.

 

“What?”

 

“It meant that practice was over.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Yeah!”

 

“I hear ya!” a final comment, from a far corner.

The rule here is: Give an ex-footballer the scantest of segues for a football anecdote and he’s off and running. 

“When I’m done a workout I go home and have a cognac. I mean if it’s after dinner.” This from Ed, a muscular, serious body-builder, and a septuagenarian, no less.

 

“Oh, Cognac, that’s sweet stuff. You’ll really feel that the next day,” a bloke, agreeing with Ed.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Yeah!”

 

“You know what I used to drink? Ed says, "Bourbon.”

 

“Oh! You’ll feel that.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Yeah!”

 

“But that was good!”

 

“Bourbon is good stuff.” another agreement.

 

“Yeah.”

 

 “I like gin and tonic,” someone new says.

 

“That’s a woman’s drink,” muscular Ed says.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Yeah!”

 

“Yeah, but I like it,” says the new voice.

 

“It’s a woman’s drink.” say Ed, finality in his tone. 

 

Conversation ends.  Seems that Ed gets the final word.