Anti-Aging Tips
Here are a few tips to make you feel young again.
Tip 1
Say you're walking through the parking lot to your office. It's early morning and you notice a puddle a few paces ahead.
Jump in it.
If it happens that you're walking with a co-worker, even better: Jump in the puddle. Make a splash. The co-worker will wait, or he/she might to join in.
Oh ... if it's winter and all the puddles are frozen then, stomp on the ice, try to break the ice. If the ice won't break, step back a few paces, get a running start. Slide across the ice. Then resume your walk. Talk a little business with the co-worker.
Tip 1
Say you're walking through the parking lot to your office. It's early morning and you notice a puddle a few paces ahead.
Jump in it.
If it happens that you're walking with a co-worker, even better: Jump in the puddle. Make a splash. The co-worker will wait, or he/she might to join in.
Oh ... if it's winter and all the puddles are frozen then, stomp on the ice, try to break the ice. If the ice won't break, step back a few paces, get a running start. Slide across the ice. Then resume your walk. Talk a little business with the co-worker.
Tip 2
If, along the path that you are walking, you come across a low retaining wall of any sort, something like a high curb that follows a sidewalk, leave the sidewalk and walk on the wall. One of the best places to find these balance beam-like structures is the bordering concrete that often runs up the side of cement stairs. Contractors and architects call it a “stringer.” Never mind that; I had to look it up. Regardless never take the stairs, always take the stringer.
Tip 3
If you’re a commuter, waiting for the train to the city and an inch or more of fresh snow has fallen on the platform, scoop up a handful, eat it.
Tip 4
Snow, of course, presents numerous opportunities to combat aging. Think snow angels, forts, snowballs. My favorite is if the snow is still falling, big flakes, raise your eyes skyward, stick out your tongue, let the snow hit your tongue. Repeat this several times.
Tip 5
This tip is a bit deviant. If you're in someone's car and you notice some pocket change laying around, pick up the coins and try to put them into the various “coin slots” (aka heat vents) that automakers build into the dashboard.
The best coin slot, actually it’s a secret coin slot, is any opening in the hub of the steering wheel.* Try to shove a quarter in there. These coin slots may take only quarters, not sure, but the great thing about the steering wheel hub coin slot (Remember, it’s not your car) is that it will confound the driver no end. How? Because the horn will sound on a truly random basis (I'm guessing a short circuit of some sort) for as long as the quarter is in there jostling around. Everyone will be dumbfounded. When you pass people on the street and the random beep goes off, you may get a friendly wave, but if someone is crossing in front of you in a parking lot and the beep startles him/her – here you may get the finger.
All in good fun.
* Grandson Johnny found this coin slot and performed the "random horn" to perfection - which dumbfounded grandpa (yours truly), various adult passengers, a few strollers we passed that assumed the random beeps were me tooting hello.
Tip 6
Also related to automobile travel is this: again, you're riding in someone else's car - immediately after sliding into the front seat, aka shotgun, turn on the radio and start pushing the selection buttons, frantic like. Keep pushing buttons until music comes on, something you like. Turn up the sound. If it happens to be music that someone over thirty would like, go back to pushing the buttons, change the station.
Also related to automobile travel is this: again, you're riding in someone else's car - immediately after sliding into the front seat, aka shotgun, turn on the radio and start pushing the selection buttons, frantic like. Keep pushing buttons until music comes on, something you like. Turn up the sound. If it happens to be music that someone over thirty would like, go back to pushing the buttons, change the station.
If it’s music you don’t like (read: extra loud, generally
incomprehensible lyrics) let it play for a while (give it 20 seconds) then
start the button pushing again.
Tip 7
Here's my favorite: Ask a child, or even better, another adult, to have a catch (throw a ball to each other). Like this, “K’we have a catch?” Give your request a pleading tone. Then begin the catch, but don’t stop, ever. None of this: “OK that’s it.” Or this “OK, enough, I’ve got to make a call,” or “Gotta go inside now,” or “OK, it’s getting late,” etc. NO! None of that. Just keep tossing the ball, or stuffed animal, or balled up sock, whatever. Keep it going, no stopping, the catch. I’m not sure if a real child will ever call a halt to a catch – I’ve never witnessed it, but that’s not your problem. You want to get younger right? Then keep playing catch.
If you're serious about anti-aging, playing catch
with a child will do it. But it must be forever, or until the child says something like I'm bored.
Trust
me, it works.
